Thursday, July 17, 2008
{ 3:54 AM }
i had a horrible day again, as usual. during maths lecture, i got caught for studying chem. and the lecturer walked up to me and took my chem notes away. and she asked me a few questions. and she saw my nametag. which made me rather scared, guilty and sad. i'm really sorry for studying chem during maths lecture. i promise i'll never ever do that in my life again. i'm so sorry..and this incident spoilt my mood for the whole day. i started to emo-.-" again right. i dont know why ever since i stepped into a jc, my whole world is filled only with tears. it's collasping..i'm too weak to hold it up. then i figured out i wanted some time alone in the toilet, so i left the canteen without thendral and yinmei. i'm so sorry to make you all think i'm angry with you all ok. i'm just crazy all of a sudden. and this morning's presentation on the SPA made me think of muncho. i missed him. suddenly i dont understand why when i love (i still love him now, even when he's gone.) and missed my muncho so much, other people are abondoning their pets. then i thought of the times when i had him and my maid. those were the times when i had little troubles. i wish i could return to the past, when i was sec one..no worries, little brat unaware of her surroundings..hahaas. i love my past(:(:(: i ended up falling into the abyss of my past. i kept on thinking and thinking..and i ended up crying again. such a loser. but what made me really happy was the programme after school. school ended at around 2.35 after the talk by some external speaker. then i went to meet queen, huishan, mians, yiting and liyan at marina. after leaving pizza hut where yiting and liyan left for some other things, queen, huishan, mians and me went breeks (is it how they spell it?). we sat there and talked until it was time for us to leave. i miss them a lot. just love the time spent with them(: and tomorrow i'll get to see queen again! hahaas.
thank you everyone who cared about me. i really thank you all. i dont know why i became like that now..how i wish i am who i was back then. now i'm still in a phase whereby i'm trying to break free from my negative thoughts about my surroundings. it will take time, patience and pain, but i'm trying very hard. i'm also trying my best to work harder for my subjects. jia you theo! i'll work till i drop dead.